Regrets

Not saying I wasn't victimized- that part I think we know is fair,
But it was wrong for me claim the feeling wasn't there,
While buried in the evidence, adorned with signs you care,
I'm sorry for exhausting you in every minute you could spare,

I wish I hadn't canceled plans, or I hadn't worked so long,
I'm sorry that I lost my way once you needed someone strong,
For all those careless mishaps in my yearning to belong,
That I took stabs at your character when I felt that you were wrong,

Now I'm not throwing in maturity or the innocence of youth,
For most of it's facetious and we both can see the truth,
It was wrong to point out heartlessness in your poise and social couth,
And I never should have played detective or acted as the sleuth,

Each day I wake up from this bed I made, knowing quite well what I've done,
Then in pure Pisces delusion I distract myself with fun,
Because I've busted all my starlight dreams, I've burned out my own sun,
Too wary of surviving poison- too goddamn scared to use a gun,

So I'm just telling you I'm sorry, that I get I caused pain too,
That each time your light grew fiery red, I dowsed it with my blue,
Swallowing pride I conveyed a wish that someone you should pursue,
Just don't lost the notion once that comes that I always have loved you.