I'm finally starting to feel ample portions of my brain cells die

On a fast course of destruction,
Careening on the edge of hell,
With thoughts of imperfection,
Thoughts I'll never get to tell,

My body took this like a champion,
But even heroes have their heel,
Powder stinging like a scorpion,
And the nasal linings peel,

Even in this state I love you,
I always was a bit deranged,
And maybe in some ways I got through,
But despite that nothing changed,

I can't exist as just me only,
The purpose for me here is done,
 My soul is sick and hurt and lonely,
My moonlit night fades from your sun,

Just know I never planned on hurting,
I've always wanted you to smile,
Wanted to wake within you something,
That you could free you from your trial,

And yes I know it's rather selfish,
But please just grant me one request,
Don't leave me to linger in this anguish,
Save us both from that duress,

I will make peace with your choices,
Because I know you'll be just fine,
You'll be surrounded by those voices,
Young and much sweeter than mine.