I'm finally starting to feel ample portions of my brain cells die

On a fast course of destruction,
Careening on the edge of hell,
With thoughts of imperfection,
Thoughts I'll never get to tell,

My body took this like a champion,
But even heroes have their heel,
Powder stinging like a scorpion,
And the nasal linings peel,

Even in this state I love you,
I always was a bit deranged,
And maybe in some ways I got through,
But despite that nothing changed,

I can't exist as just me only,
The purpose for me here is done,
 My soul is sick and hurt and lonely,
My moonlit night fades from your sun,

Just know I never planned on hurting,
I've always wanted you to smile,
Wanted to wake within you something,
That you could free you from your trial,

And yes I know it's rather selfish,
But please just grant me one request,
Don't leave me to linger in this anguish,
Save us both from that duress,

I will make peace with your choices,
Because I know you'll be just fine,
You'll be surrounded by those voices,
Young and much sweeter than mine.

 

Rhythm and Blues

The promenade and pull of your powerful waltz,
And burning bright- your bolero boils blood,
Does your daring dance deflect your death and faults?

Succumb to sticky slowing, embrace the stagnant halts,
Beware the box-step brings you back through mud,
The promenade and pull of your powerful waltz,

A swift and sweeping samba shows steps surmise gestalts,
And fast and fervent foxtrot freeing feelings- flaking crud,
Does your daring dance deflect your death and faults?

Temptation in your tango, your twisted tempo that time assaults,
Memories march in on your merengue, muddled mysteries start to flood,
The promenade and pull of your powerful waltz,

Cheering chagrin with a cha-cha, chews like lemon juice and salts,
Murmurs muse you in mid-mambo, money to mirage a willing stud,
Does your daring dance deflect your death and faults?

Riddles ripping at your rumba, reminds of remnants in your vaults,
With not a swing or paso doble to hide the idle cattle chewing cud,
The promenade and pull of your powerful waltz,
Does your daring dance deflect your death and faults?

Should I hide my bleeding heart or my deviated septum?

One would have thought after three or four years,
That I could say all this to you without choking down tears,
That'd we'd both reach a point where enough is enough,
Where we'd set down our crosses and unite when it's tough.

But my urges still dwell in procuring our dreams,
Stirring clouds of illusion, blurring facts at the seams,
I'd hush up about every pain in my heart,
If it would catalyze growth; if you would then do your part,

There isn't the muscle, or power, or voice,
To build up your strengths when we're both given choice,
Because the course of inaction, is the one that you'll choose,
Till flesh rots off my bones- till it's sure that I lose.

Perhaps it's because it's a clear source of power,
You can taunt me and promise our love hasn't gone sour,
With assurance you tell me it'll all soon be changing,
That you'll make time for my love with your schedule arranging,

There are very few men on this Earth I can't read,
I can't tell if your thoughts are of love or of greed,
So I put on a smile and I hope for the best,
While the doubts eat my veins, causing pains in my chest.

Because you have to admit, you sure don't like to show it,
We stand on uneven footing, the concealed and the poet,
And perhaps this imbalance feels to you like there's danger,
But I would rather feel risk than feel I'm in love with a stranger,

You're a man who I've seen go wherever he wanted,
And do whatever he pleases- and that thought leaves me haunted,
Because if indeed you're a man who gets all he desires, if it was me that you wanted you'd have rekindled those fires.


 

As I feel my presence fading and remaining as a ghost,
I cherish every moment that I spent inside your eyes,
Those eyes of mixed up thoughts and the surge of northern coast,
You're the keeper of my secrets and my truths amongst the lies,

And if in all this drama I confirm this is the end,
If I could ask one thing of you I want your soul to thrive,
Don't settle for the comforts of the easy way you bend-
the lives in your gasp; the important part is you're alive.

Piscean Plea

Longing to merge,
to delve so deep into you that I'll never feel alone,
desperate to connect to the distant shores of the man you once were and all the men you can be,
your past, present, and future,
a tangible substance I manipulate with surgical precision,
bringing you to the next stage of being- my ultimate gift to give to the one worth receiving it,
the power to heal every piece of you that was forsaken,
I can brush across your fingers the boundless possibilities,
as I listen to every wayward dream of yours' on baited breath,
if you allow yourself to be hurt,
broken by the dark places we will together go,
I can save your soul from this hopeless mortal existence,
betwixt the Earth and the Spirit.
Will you rise to the occasion?
Do you dare to live forever?
Love forever?
Hurt forever?
time will tell if you choose to reject it,
this, my gift to you alone,
before this causeway finally bursts and I drown in my blood