Hallelujah

Perhaps thine eyes hath seen the glory of the coming of the lord,

And with the help of fateful Saturn he'll take all that I adored,

He hath draught a fatal liquor brewed from ichor in my heart,

He called Wormwood from the heavens to tear us bitterly apart,

How can I carry on?

Saturn is a stupid bitch

More than halfway through this reckoning return

Anything I've said about the positives I've lied

But then again I lied about the negatives too

And I lied about lessons I did not or did learn

To avoid sharing an inkling of this maelstrom in turn

From the avalanches of empty laughter shuddered to the headwaters of burning tears cried

Phoenix Bartender

This is the first time at least through my own recollection

That my heart burst to pieces despite immense protection

This is the first time that being guarded and unusually forward

That would reveal he held no true intentions untoward

This fact is the one that ravaged my thinking

That I couldn't chalk up to loneliness, jet lags, or drinking

This is another gentle soul whose been shattered

That gave all that he had for how little that mattered

This is what the world does to those who heal and who dream

That the only fitting reward is to have silenced their scream

This wretched fucking curse— "righteous cross to bear"

That cannot ever be justified by his vacant, haunted stare

Film

Passive process

Peculiar sport

"Values are ascribed by the beholder"

Retort

Funny notions

Flimsy whim

The beholder values the ones great as him

Dry ambition

Squadered youth

Does your lens at least garner this simple truth? 

Need producers

Just to get by

Then again sometimes men are not known till they die 

There are Doers and Sayers

When the barn cats stop killing the mice 

You cut back their food to encourage more hunts

Why would one root for the underdog

When being pitied is all the pathetic thing wants?

Squandered away decades of years

With nothing to show for it but crocodile tears

Emotional burden

Sycophant

Surrendered any hope to entice or enchant

Self-respectless

Beta Bitch

Without any helpful solutions to pitch

Solace knowing 

Gods above

That one who is pitied is one who never is loved

The Conqueror Worm, Part II

In time, dear instar, you will learn,

the mistake you make when you relate to the worm,

that useless old thing- leaching out pity

The Conqueror Worm- sad, tired, fifty

For though common ground is found now in your feelings

The worm has nothing to show for its dealings

And you have the chance yet to spin your cocoon

To transform yourself, success and growth yet to boon

The worm will compare you to it, but you'll see

That the worm only holds lovers back from their glee

And it finds an enemy in each comment or stare

Unreciprocated, because none of them care

And if you soon make it and you then spread your wings

The worm will latch on, so pathetic it clings

Exclaiming how happy you've found your success

Juxtaposed with how bitter it finds its duress

For this is the way of the worm, don't you see?

The spineless invertebrate loves misery

It is easier than measuring up like a man

Willing to drag the hell in whatever it can. 

So often he strikes while the iron is hot

And he gets while the getting is good

Unafraid to take the time to stop and smell the roses

Savoring experiences that life offers in the moment

Yet, too often he is not aware

Does not prepare 

Does not care

Resentment of the role of the soul 

Afraid the future will swallow him whole

Cycles

Somehow the years spent licking the wounds 

Are just one away from the entire damaging span

A time highly-internal

Still experience abounds

Even now there's days I need convincing

Fear it's too good to be true

That there's nothing I could stand to offer someone who has grown as much as you 

You don't complete me or make me whole

Instead you embolden my fervorous search for a soul

Learning to build a foundation, not to fill in a hole

Blue eyes run through with such delight

Extremes of wonder in your childish sight

The man I'm sure was not crafted for me 

Not wrapped in vapid rose-toned fantasy

You've consistently been there, 

And I'll do the same

For another four years 

For forever and again 

Texas Florida Jersey Boy

I say it every year and every year it continues to be true

I will never need to check the dates that mark the week that I lost you

I feel it coming every time, sorrow deep in all my bones

As the anniversary grows ever-near of the awful things I said

Of the morning when I got the call and knew what would unfold

As I pulled off of DuPont highway and begged that God take me instead

Approaching ever-faster, a day forever marred by grief

And things neither of us can take back; the price that you and I have paid

A day set in a year that I was so resolved to join you

So now I'm nauseous from embarrassment, survivor's guilt, and shame

There has not been a single day where I haven't said your name

Lockdown

I could give it a value, down to dollars and cents. 

I could define it down to the seconds of time

The precise amount of physical effort

The number of words willingly exchanged 

I could compare the weight it bears with each item and column

Measured against monotonous tasks

It can even be shortened without too much effort

The smallest disruption to precious routines

Or acting in ways outside the confines 

...of the narrow scope of acceptable ways 

I could tell you the number of passing days 

I can spell out quite clearly what will and won't do

And what won't be done for you 

The events that are scheduled excluding the guest

Without the slightest notion that one might protest

The things that are the way they are and if you don't like it you can leave

The number of unscheduled visits admonished

The miles driven unbelieved

Perhaps it stands out, so stark and so rigid 

Because my love knows no borders but can be just as frigid.