2018

If I choose my path again and set my course for life,
I'd even shed the tender parts that shone with light above,
I'd take a few more pills or would cut deeper with a knife,
Than be poisoned by your romance and the redaction of your love.

Saturnalia Suicide

Sunless Sabbath of Sacred Saturn,
Relentlessly Reflecting Reasons to Regret my Ridiculous Reverie,
of Marriage betwixt Malevolent Men,
Forsake my Fledgling Folly-
Feast upon this Foolish Fancy:

My bleary eyes cast upward in affection,
Gaze on passing lights across an achromatic avenue,
An orchestra gallery of loved ones-
some with tears-
some with worry,
My slightest response brings a smile to the man forefront to an illuminated retable,
Salt air bellows down the frozen flue,
Carrying with it traces of foam from-
the violent crashing waves-
of a ruled-by-Neptune maddened maw,
Not even a grimace when I feel a pinch-
from the ring weighing my oration ,
With hypocritic humor he recites his dearest devotion,
The crowd silences; barely breathing-
I smile as I let go of every care and embrace an ecumenial eternity.

And though it isn't quite how I imagined it,
My heartbreak finds neurotic solace in the irony:

My bleary eyes cast upward in akinesia,
Gaze on passing lights across an achromatic avenue,
An operating gallery of loved ones-
some with tears-
some with worry,
My slightest response brings a smile to the man forefront to a surgery retable,
Salt water bellows down the vulnerable viscera,
Carrying with it seizures of foam from-
the volemic crashing waves-
of my ruled-by-Neptune madman's mouth,
Not even a grimace when I feel a pinch-
from the oximeter reading my vitals,
With Hippocratic fervour he recites his dearest devotion,
The crowd silences; barely breathing-
I smile as I let go of every care and embrace an ego-driven eternity.

It's Better This Way (Villanelle)

Rejecting many chances since the route I chose was slow,
Demanding that you'd love me back or leave,
As my wretched breath's extinguished in the silence of the snow,

The cosmos crudely-spattered with each piece of me you throw,
Without the slightest comfort or reprieve,
Rejecting many chances since the route I chose was slow,

But did you ever love me? Because I'd truly like to know,
It's only one more thing for me to grieve,
As my wretched breath's extinguished in the silence of the snow,

Do you think I stand a chance above, or am I sentenced to below?
For the things I did with my heart upon my sleeve,
Rejecting many chances since the route I chose was slow,

When I reached the ends of being- I needed someone else to grow,
But nothing that I did made you believe,
As my wretched breath's extinguished in the silence of the snow,

Prepared, though sad, to face this and to reap just what I sow,
My end of days to quell a love I can't achieve,
Rejecting many chances since the route I chose was slow,
As my wretched breath's extinguished in the silence of the snow.